sometimes I wish I could live in an alternate world. where everything I’d wish for I’d already have, and everything I already have right now would be what I was wishing for. of course, not everything would apply to this rule. I’d still have my family, and my friends. but if I wished to live in London instead of New Jersey, in a matter of a snap my wish would be granted. and if I wished to look a certain way or posses a certain trait, it wouldn’t be a big deal. if I wished to become a movie star, or a rock star, and meet celebrities or people who are known for doing something greater than one’s imagination could hold-that would be possible. because it was a world where mostly everything was opposite. if I’d want something, no hard labor would need to be done for me to get it. no effort. just a thought, a wish, a spark. and my life would be complete.
of course, somehow I’d realize that I’d want my own life back, and that this awesome-seeming dimension really isn’t all that great. but until that moment comes, I would like to be able to have anything. and if I had a chance, this is what I would wish for:
1. to be perfect
2. to be wanted
3. to be important
4. to meet other important people in a very important gathering. where people would acknowledge my importance, and would not doubt me.
5. to be known for doing something amazing. something amazing that I loved doing, so I wouldn’t be a cheap, attention-desiring foamy. something like, music or acting or theater. that’d be nice.
6. and finally, I’d wish for some sort of item. an item in which I could wish for something, if I ever remember anything else I want. because I tend to forget things. so the minute I remember what is something else that I need or want, I could just whisper it to the little item, and it would happen. it’d be like some sort of magical object that would be my back-up plan for a perfect life. and somehow, it would be used against me in the end, and would desperately need to be destroyed.
but I’m not going to worry about that. because in reality, none of the above will ever happen, and no magical object will help me and my world become perfect. so there’s really no point of thinking about it, right?
this is from 2010
reblogging so more people can see and I can get thoughts?
Oh god please pick up,’ the orange-haired girl muttered to herself, pacing up and down her room. Her hand was getting tired from holding her black, small cell phone up to her ear, but she was far beyond the point of caring. As she reached voicemail for the fifth time, Maya hit the red “END” button on her phone, and then pressed the green “CALL” button, making a call for the sixth time. She put the phone on speaker and placed it on her bed, sitting down beside it. Maya cracked her knuckles while stretching her arms out, and tried to relax. ‘Everything’s fine,’ She kept telling herself.‘Nothing’s wrong. She’s probably just away. Or Her phone died. Or studying. Or taking a nap. Don’t stress.’
As the minutes rushed by her, Maya couldn’t keep her arms from shaking and eyes from watering. She had been calling Kassie for twenty or so minutes now, and her mind had jumped to the worst case scenario about nineteen minutes ago. She put her phone back on her desk, stepped out of her small, blue-painted room, and made her way down the hallway into the bathroom. Maya looked in the mirror for a good three minutes before bringing cold sink water up to her face and trying to pull herself together. She looked up at her reflection in the big mirror above the sink, and then dried her wet face with a baby pink towel that had been on the left side of the soap. Maya closed her bright green eyes, inhaled from her nose, exhaled from her mouth, and opened her eyes again. She pulled her messy, ginger hair and tied it in a bun at the back of her head, walking out of the bathroom. Closing the door behind her, Maya stepped back into her bedroom and slowly walked towards her wooded desk. She looked at her phone, clandestinely hoping to have a missed call from Kassie. She hadn’t.
Maya knew calling Kassie again was useless, and she wasn’t in the mood for any more disappointments. Still, she couldn’t help but feel extremely worried about her. She slid open her cell phone and opened a new text message window. “come online please? Need to talk.” She scrolled down the contacts list, and checked off Autumn, before finally sending the message. A few minutes later, the worried girl heard a ‘pop!’ from her laptop. She walked over to the desk where her laptop was stationed only to find Autumn had sent her a message.
Autumn(6:37pm): Hey, what’s going on?
Maya(6:38pm): Have you seen or read the news lately?
Autumn(6:40pm): nope, I got home about 20 mins ago. What happened?
Maya(6:42pm): Remember when we all told each other our cities and where we live?
Autumn(6:43pm): Uh, yeah. So?
Maya(6:43pm): There’s a kidnapper on the loose over at Kassie’s town. I’ve tried to call her, you know, just to make sure everything’s okay…she hasn’t answered or responded.
Autumn(6:45pm): are you sure it’s Kassie’s town? Plus, maybe Kassie’s just busy. Maybe she’s not home and she forgot her phone. Her phone dies quickly too, doesn’t it?
Autumn(6:46pm): Honestly, Maya, don’t psych yourself out. Take a deep breath, drink some water. It’s all right. Even though we spend more time talking to each other than actually being social, we’re allowed to have real social lives.
Maya(6:47pm): …On a Wednesday night?
Autumn(6:48pm): group project, maybe? Look, I don’t know. I don’t know any more than you do. Just relax, okay? There’s nothing you can do right now. Give it some time. If she doesn’t contact in 24 hours, we’ll deal.
Maya(6:48pm): …I have a terrible feeling about this.
Autumn(6:50pm): I do too. But stay positive, ok? Kas is a smart girl. She watches enough detective shows to handle herself. Everything will be alright.
Maya(6:51pm):….
Autumn(6:54pm): look I gotta go, mom’s getting mad - laundry or something. My phone’s always on, you know what to do if you need anything. Love you.
Maya looked at her computer screen blankly, her eyes watering once again. Her gut was telling her something wasn’t right. She seldom had instincts this strong, and she was convinced it meant something. Maya closed her laptop shut, walked over to her bed, and sinked into her big navy blanket. The ginger tried to get some rest after pressing the light switch by her bedside, darkening the room, but she couldn’t quit tossing and turning. Her best friend was in trouble and there was nothing she could do about it.
*************************
It was a beautiful Thursday afternoon, and Haley had just gotten out of class. As she walked through central London with her friends to celebrate the school day’s end, Haley let the cold wind breeze her face, pushing her long, chocolate hair back. The group of five teenaged friends walked into the nearest restaurant and warmed up, waiting to be seated at a coffee colored table by a dirty window. While the British girls finally sat down and looked through the menus (although they had all been at this diner before, and therefor knew exactly what they wanted to order) Haley put her long, puffy black coat, along with her brown scarf and black leather gloves tucked into the pockets, on the nearest coat rack. She then slid back into the booth with her friends; laughing, talking, and discussing events of importance - as normal seventeen-years-old girls do.
When the waitress came to the girls’ table with drinks for everyone, one of the girls - an enthusiastic blonde - raised her cup at once and declared “to no homework!”. Her friends followed her lead, all raising their cups as well, and repeating “to no homework!”. The girls then proceeded to clink their cups together in midair, followed by a sudden silence as they all gulped down their water. They giggled cohesively when they put down their cups, as in mutual agreement that drinking to the absence of something was silly. Or maybe that was just in Haley’s head.
“Nicole, get off your phone…your closest friends are sitting right here with you! who could you possibly be chatting with?” called out the girl on the left of Haley; short dark hair on her shoulders, and big brown eyes. The girl across from her, on the other side of the table, then looked up from her BlackBerry cellphone and stared blankly at the other. There was a tense and unpleasant silence for no less than a full minute, before the girl finally responded, “My dad, thanks. He’s on business in California. Haven’t seen him in a week.” The girl’s long, straight, blonde hair was now being fussed and toggled with, and Nicole’s phone was in her bag. Her green eyes were looking down at her fingers, hey eyelids at plain sight.
“I’m sorry, Nic. I didn’t know.” Said the short-haired girl, guilt in her voice.
“It’s all right.” Nicole replied. From her expression, it was transparent she was searching for more words to say, but none seemed appropriate. The atmosphere was now uneasy, as the girls looked around for a distraction.
“Nicole,” Haley started, confident. “Didn’t you say your father’s a police officer of some sorts? What’s he doing in Cali?”
“He’s working a job, yeah. Apparently there’s a colt of guys on the northern end, and they just take people. Girls, mostly. They had my dad flown out to help.” Nicole added, poise in her manner. She was chewing on her food by now, as if Haley’s words magically healed the uneasiness and relieved the party of tension. All the girls started eating, having nothing else to say. After a few minutes, as they began speaking again and finished their meals, the waitress came by once more to give them off the bill. “I’ll drop it off,” Nicole said, collecting all the girls’ money and taking it to the register to pay. As she left the table, the brunette next to Haley spoke again.
“What is going on with Nicole today?” She said in a hushed tone, bringing the straw in her cup to her lips and sipping on her water.
“What do you mean?” Haley replied. She didn’t understand why Nicole was being attacked.
The big-eyed girl spoke again, now with more anger in her voice. “She’s acting weird! Can’t you see it?”
“The only thing I can see right now, honestly, is you bashing Nicole’s every move without a reason.” Haley responded, now angry too. This was getting ridiculous.
Another awkward silence filled the group, with the other girls’ eyes wandering back and forth from Haley and the neighboring friend. “Ready to go?” Nicole said from behind the table, breaking the muteness. Haley got up, smiled, and replied “Yeah, let’s go.” She walked over to the coat rack, grabbed her stuff, and put them on as she stepped out the door; the girls behind her.
As they walked back towards the tube station, Nicole huddled next to Haley, dismissing herself from the rest of the group.
“Did I miss something back there?” The tall blonde muffled at Haley.
“No, nothing.” Haley responded, as if fully convinced nothing had happened. “What would make you say that?
“There’s a kind of, sort of discomfort between us…I mean not you and I specifically, but the entire ‘group’ in general…” She responded, making sure the girls behind her couldn’t hear what she was saying.
“Nothing happened, Nic, I promise. Nothing of importance, anyways.” Haley responded, a smile on her face. As they kept walking, the wind pushed past them again. Haley enjoyed the fresh air, it freed her from the absurdness of the people she lets herself be surrounded by. Sometimes she’d doubt all her friends at once, thinking none of them even realized how preposterous their source of drama is. Lately, though, Haley’s just been exhausted from everything. Only a small amount of things seemed worthy of her time, and the people she sees everyday weren’t really that. She looked up at the half orange half salmon colored sky, and let the sight of the sunset permeate her mind.
as of 4/21:
“Did you hear that?” Adam whispered with an inhaled gasp, followed by a complete silence of the room, where only the raindrops hitting the windows could be heard.
“…hear what…?” Ella replied, confused. Adam has been acting stranger than usual lately, and she couldn’t put a finger on what was going on with him. He was only 7 but he understood everything and read everyone like an opened book.
“The rain, it’s really loud,” Adam replied, a sound of regret in his voice for even bringing the thing up.
“Yeah…it’s a thunder storm. It’s known for being loud.” Ella snapped back. She didn’t like losing her temper so quickly, but stupid questions like these bothered her when she knew her brother knew better than that.
it was 7 o’clock, and Ella was tired. it was a Saturday night, and she’d been up since around 9 doing absolutely nothing. a lot of people don’t understand how tiring that can be. she watched How I Met Your Mother online, along with the usual Facebook and Youtube, but she had done something productive; she’d helped her friend paint a wall on her new room bright orange, since she was moving in 2 weeks from that day. the room looked good, but Ella had left before finishing, because she needed to walk home and the rain was getting harder and the sky was getting darker. she got up from the white, comfortable sofa, and went to her room.
Her older brother was physically home, but as usual, it felt as if he wasn’t even there. Ella’s parents had gone out to see who knows what at who knows where. She never particularly cared where her parents where, as long as she had the house (mostly) to herself, she was okay. she closed the door behind her, grabbed her laptop, and hopped onto bed; under the big, warm blanket.
Ella was a normal 16-year old girl. she was average in everything, and has gotten used to it. if things were good, they’d get worse not very long afterwards, and balance each other out to be even and average. to add to all that hype, she lived in the boring town of Jetston, where absolutely nothing happens. yes, there are things to do, and the city wasn’t exactly what you’d call small, but after living in the same place for more than half of her life, Ella, along with many others, get bored by the same old pizzaria and movie theater. Ella and her friends weren’t old enough to drive, and her mom expected her to walk everywhere, so going out of town for fun after school wasn’t even an option. she’d gotten a ride from an older friend once, but just as they turned the corner, he got pulled over and Ella’s been scared ever since. the poor boy freaked out even more, but got over it once the cop decided to give him a warning sine he had been driving for literally a week. other than the occasional town fair that only happens in the summer, nothing exciting EVER happened in Jetston. everyone who’s lived there has grown costumed to the boredom of the place, so no one even tried to change it. it’s like God decided he wanted her life to be boring and unexciting, or something.
by now it was already 12:07, and Ella really wanted to sleep already. her eyes were closing and her brain was shutting down on it’s own. she was half asleep, mentally.she closed the laptop and put it on the floor because she was too tired to get up and put it in its proper spot. Ella lied on her bed and listened to the silence. she listened to the rain hitting her windows hardly and loudly, since there was a window right next to where her head is. she heard the thunder, and the flashes of the lightning reached her eyesight from the wholes in the blinds. she normally didn’t enjoy rainstorms because of the damage they cause that everyone sees in the morning, but when she just listened to it with no other intentions than to sleep or relax, she actually kind of enjoyed it. it was peaceful, even somewhat inspiring. she wanted to get her canvas and paint, because that’s what she does when she’s inspired, but ended up falling asleep.
—-
The next morning was beautiful. birds chirping, cloudless skies, and the sun was shining bright. of course, she’d spend that Sunday at home, because her parents were out and she needed to stay with Adam, once again. sometimes Ella wondered why she never got paid for this. maybe it’s a part of the unwritten family contract that everyone had to sign at birth. of course, babies couldn’t read, so Ella, along with many other babies, had no idea what they were signing. and now they’re stuck until the age of 18.
“I’m going outside,” Ella informed Adam. “I’m pretty sure Ben’s in his room.”
“Wait, you’re leaving? why? where? did mom say you can go?” Adam questioned.
“I’m going to the backyard, Adam. it’s not that big of a deal” Ella added, getting her canvas, and other painting materials. she stepped out to the patio and placed her utilities on the wooden table. she put her earphones in her ears, put on the painting playlist she had made earlier in the week, and started to think about what to paint. out in the distance, she noticed a single small, bright pink flower amongst the green grass and brown forest behind her house. Ella’s family had lived in a place that was once just a giant, huge forest, until settlers came out of nowhere and built an actual city. but her house was one of the newest, so it was built in the new neighborhood right by the forest that had yet to be chopped down. it seems as if many interesting things have taken place in that forest, but Ella’s been too creeped out to check any of it out; everyone in here family was. you’d think Simon- Ella’s father- would be fascinated by this, he’s normally more excited about these types of things than the entire extended family combined, but for some reason he never brings it up, and changes the subject if it ever does come up. Ella never thought much of it.
She jumped off the lower part of the patio and stepped closer to the flower. it was like nothing she’d ever seen before; and as an artist she’d seen a lot. she was only 6 when she started painting and drawing, and she hasn’t stopped since. she’s painted everything; from classic fruit bowls, people, animals, and objects of nature; to abstract things like pants and laundry detergent bottles. she’d also seen a lot of work by others, and just general photographs, but this flower was different. it seemed almost fake, as if someone took a normal flower and photoshopped it. -Ella didn’t particularly like photoshop and any other photoshop-like system. it ruined the whole point of drawing and painting, and art in general, and turned it into something fake and sleazy that not only can anyone do in a matter of minutes, but can be used for bad publicity online and in the media society. it wasn’t real art and she hated how people keep acting and forcing themselves to believe they are artists when they use it.
She kneeled on the ground and got closer to the thing that was too beautiful to be real, and observed it. The cerise colored plant still had water droplets on its petals, falling down on the ground one by one as each second passes. Ella stroke her finger on the flower and then placed it on her lips. the drops tasted sweet but unreal, and she couldn’t really grasp the taste. she tried again and again, but the taste was always the same-good, but too weak to remember or even try to describe after it’s gone.
“EEEEEE-LLLAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Adam screamed from inside the house out the window facing the backyard.
“WHAT?” Ella yelled back, screaming because Adam was too far away and he would never hear her otherwise.
that’s the moment when she realized how far into the backyard she had gone for this little flower; further than anyone has ever been. her parents probably would not approve of it if they were to ever find out, which is why Ella didn’t plan on ever telling them, and forcing Adam to somehow shut up about the whole thing. She ran back to the patio to face Adam from the other side of the window. “what is it?” She asked.
“I was just seeing how you passed the infringement line, and..”
“The what line exactly? there was nothing back there.”
“the infringement line! Dad set it up when we first moved here, and he said it was my job to protect it and make sure no one ever crosses it, but you di-”
“And where exactly is this line located, Adam?” Ella replied.
“it’s about 5 steps before where you were. so you passed it by 5 steps. you’re lucky. Dad said if anyone ever passes that line for more than 5 feet he’s going to need to get involved, and maybe the police and the government. you could have been in A LOT of trouble, El. just don’t do it again so I don’t have to tell dad.” Adam explained.
“You’re kidding right? there is no line or anything indicating a line whatsoever! is this a joke or something?” Ella snapped. she could prove how there was absolutely no line back there.
“No it’s not a..”-
“Besides, why would Dad restrict us from going there in the first place? what’s so bad about the forest?! and if it’s so bad, why do we live here? there a hundreds of houses around this place and scattered throughout town on sale or for rent. I don’t…”-
“IT’S A FAKE LINE, ELLA…!”
“What…?”
“It’s a metaphorical line. there is no line or any physical boundaries that can be seen, but dad showed me specifically where it would be and I’ve remembered.”
Ella didn’t reply. she was stunned by the fact that her 7 year old brother knew what the word ‘metaphorical’ meant and how to use it in a sentence. she was also confused about the whole line/forest situation.
“Whatever.” Ella put her headphones back in, and started painting. she didn’t paint the flower, because she felt like painting it now wouldn’t give it justice. she needed more time to study the plant. she ended up drawing a tree. a very emotional and colorful tree.
here we go! my first EVER fanfiction! this is about Beth[from Glee], and this is about 16 years after she’s adopted. in my story, Puck and Quinn never really were a part of Beth’s life. I’ll expand on it in future chapters or something. but yeah, here it is, I hope you like it!
Beth opened her eyes at the sight of her alarm clock. it was already 11:43am, and she had promised to help out her mom with show choir outfit choices around 1. She wasn’t all that into the performing business as her mom is, and would like her to be, but she does enjoy singing to herself when there’s something on her mind. She’d write songs on the guitar for no reason, but when her mom pushed her to play and sing infront of an audience, she always backed out. it wasn’t her thing.
She got up from her boysenberry colored bedspread, and put her medium-lengthed, dirty blonde hair up in a messy bun. she walked down the hall to the kitchen, grabbed a bowl and poured cereal and milk into it. After she’d finished eating breakfast, Beth took a quick shower and started getting ready. she braided her hair to the side of her face, revealing her “Beth” necklace that she never took off. She wore a light blue flowered sundress that fit her slender body perfectly, and wedged shoes to match. It was only after she had brushed her teeth and put mascara on her long eyelashes that her mom had got home.
“Beth, are you ready? we’re on a tight schedule!” Shelby, Beth’s mom, called out,while pushing the sunglasses off her face.Her smartphone, keys, and handbag were all tossed at once on the coffee table in the living room. “I’m going to the bathroom real quick, Beth, honey, we’re leaving in two!” She called out once again, heading to her bedroom. Beth grabbed her phone and iPod, stuffed them in her purse, and waited in the living room for her mom.
“You ready to go?” Shelby had finally said while arriving in the living after 5 minutes. She was wearing a short,tight, scoop-necked navy dress that went well with her black dangled earrings. She picked up her keys, phone, and handbag once again, and opened the front door. She let Beth walk out first, and then proceeded to step outside and lock the door behind her.
They had lived in the same apartment in Lima since Beth had been around a year old. She knows she wasn’t born there, but she doesn’t remember living anywhere else. All she knows is that for almost 15 years now, she had been living with her mom, no matter where that was, and that’s all that mattered.
There has never been a man in Beth’s life. no father. Sure, her mom had dated a few guys here and there between the years, but none have ever stuck around. Beth would ask Shelby about her dad whenever she felt lucky or curious, but it never payed off. Shelby refuses to talk of Beth’s father under any circumstances. The only information Beth knows is that he loved her, and probably still does. Beth clearly remembers her mom telling her, word for word, “He couldn’t be there for you. I tried to get him into your life when you were just a little kid, Beth, but he couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t support himself, let alone another person. but he loved you, so so much.”
Yet still, there hasn’t been a boyfriend in her life either. She knew she was a pretty girl, and she dressed well, but she wasn’t popular or liked at school. She was the weird kid, who actually enjoyed art and literature and to some extent,studying, and avoided social events like the football games or pep rallies. She’d much rather sit in the library and read. Beth has never really reached the point of bullying, but she knew to take a hint when girls at the bathroom would chuckle at her when she walked in, or put their feet in front of hers to try to trip her. She was smarter than them, she knew so, so she didn’t feel the need to acknowledge them or confront them.
After half an hour of driving around, Beth and Shelby had finally reached the shop that custom-made dresses for the show choir’s performances. The people who worked there had known Shleby since before Beth was even born, and had been designing clothes for Shelby’s show choir group, Vocal Adrenaline for ages. They never considered anywhere else for formal events.
Shelby and Beth both stepped out of the titanium ford, shutting the doors behind them. They walked into the famous dress shop and split up, as they always do, Shelby looking for dresses and Beth looking for shoes. They had previously agreed on the color scheme for this performance; red. As they looked around, Beth noticed her mom’s phone rang. She didn’t think much of this until She heard Shelby screaming things like “you can’t do this,” and “you have no right to do that,” and “it’s been so long,” in anger back into the blackberry. Beth thought she heard something along the lines of “…no longer your responsibility, but mine…”, but before she could figure out what it could possibly mean, Shelby had excused herself and stepped outside of the shop. All the cashiers had noticed and were staring blankly at Beth now, as if she was any less confused than they were. She tried to act like nothing’s happened, and just keep looking for shoes, but she, along with the others at the store, couldn’t help but to look through the glassed door and watch as Shelby loses her temper. She seemed more upset and worried than aggravated, which was very unusual. After more or less half an hour, Shelby hung up the phone, and walked back inside the shop and towards Beth. She took a deep breath,put on a smirk, and said “Wanna go get some coffee?”
———-
The tension between Shelby and Beth was so thick you could cut it with a knife. it was the worse kind of tension-awkward. As they sat across from each other, both slowly and quietly sipping their drinks, Beth finally speaks up.
“Mom?” She started off. Shelby didn’t reply, but just gave her a look as if to say ‘yes?’. “Why are we having coffee…?”
“I thought you liked coffee.” Shelby replied, blending the whipped cream into her carmel frappuccino with her straw.
“I do, but you never let me have coffee, or any other caffeinated drink for that matte. the only time we ever do something like ‘casually’ go out for a drink, is if something’s up that’s not very good.” Beth finally said. she watched as her mom analyze everything Beth had just said to her,stuck her straw back in the cup, and cleaned her mouth with a napkin.
“you’re right. caffeine is’t healthy. and there is a reason we’re having it.” she finally responded, but that was satisfactory enough for Beth.
“Mom, I know there’s a reason, it’s pretty obvious someone called you back at the store with bad news.” Shelby looked around the Lima Bean as the family that had sat across the room got up and left. “Mom?” Beth repeated. She knew something was up, and she knew it was bad if her mom didn’t tell her. They told each other everything.
By just looking at her mom’s face, Beth could tell Shelby was debating whether to tell her or not of what happened. She took about a minute or so before speaking. “Look, honey, just finished up your drink. We’ll talk about this later, we always do.” She finally said.
“Just tell me, come on!”
“I really don’t think this is the right time to-“
“MOM! honestly…just…tell me.”
Shelby took a deep breath. the employees at the shop got the signal to take their break, and the old coffee shop was empty at an instant. “Are you sure? it’s not the easiest thing to tal-“
“I’m sure, mom.”
“Okay. Well,” Shelby hesitated. She hadn’t planned out this conversation yet, she didn’t think it would come up at this age. She knew she’d have to tell Beth she’s adopted one day, but maybe when she’s 18. not barley 16. “I really don’t know how to say this, honey. I didn’t think I’d need to tell you this so soon…”
“What is it, mom…?” Beth said, now in a more comforting tone. She realized this is extremely serious, not just a mess up in a sheet music order.
“When you were just a baby….I…” Shelby began, but couldn’t quite find the words. she thought to herself how much easier it would have been if she could have written this up as a letter, and try out different phrases and simply delete them if they didn’t sound right.
“You can tell me mom, I’ll understand. And you know if I do get upset, you can just take me out for waffles tomorrow morning and I’ll feel better.” Beth added, comprehending how hard this was for her mother.
Shelby looked into her daughter’s eyes. She could see how nervous Beth was at this point, she could see how confused, betrayed, and broken she might feel after she would tell her. But she had to.
“You’re adopted, Beth.” She finally said, and took another breath. She looked at Beth, and added “I’m so sorry.”, though she wasn’t quite sure what Beth would want her to apologize for.
Beth swallowed hard. She closed her eyes for a few moments, taking it all in. no wonder she never had a father. Technically, now, she doesn’t have a mother either. thousands of thoughts and wonders skipped her mind; up and down, back and forth. on one side, she questioned her birth parents-who they were 16 years ago, who they are now. who they were after they left her up for adoption. why did they leave her up for adoption? was Beth just a mistake, a bump in the road? or did something go wrong?-well something must have gone wrong, otherwise she wouldn’t be adopted. on the other hand, she was questioning herself. would she be someone else now? should she try to figure out who her real parents are? How would things be at home with Shelby? would her teachers and friends notice? does anybody else know besides her birth parents and Shelby? what about her birth grandparents? how do they feel? do they know of her? the entire world, as she knows it, is now twisted and knotted to a point of no return.
“Beth..? are you okay honey?” Shelby suddenly said, Beth having been silent for a tad too long.
“um..yeah. yeah, I think so.” she lied, with a slight smirk on her face. She’s no longer talking to her mom. Shelby, to her, is a stranger. a stranger that gave her food and shelter, but a stranger.
